Very naughty boys

US ratings board Entertainment Software Rating Board have had their say on Ubisoft’s Assassin’s Creed 2, and from what they’re saying it looks like it’s going to be a fairly racy affair, what with all the killing, robbing and stealing and naughty rude stuff that’s been promised us by its review. In light of such filth, it's given the game a 'mature rating', but what else does it have to say?

‘The game contains strong sexual overtones,’ said ESRB, with a notable frisson in their undercrackers. ‘During one “seduction mini-game,” players are able to press buttons to kiss a woman and remove her dress; with the woman's back facing the camera, the two characters lower to bed and blow out a candle.

‘The dialogue contains the following sexual references: “So the whip or the paddle today?” and “Does your wife know about your page-boy fantasies, Captain?”

‘Character backstories, narrated through still-frame vignettes, explain how villains and historical figures achieved their notoriety; some biographies include references to adultery, sodomy, prostitution, and rape.

‘Consumers may also wish to know that the game contains strong profanity, both in English and Italian (e.g., “f**k,” “sh*t,” “c*zzo,” and “m*rda”); the most explicit instance occurs when a man frantically describes a “vision”-“I’m at the opera . . . the soprano is so beautiful . . . I'm in bed with her, she cries as I f**k her.”’ It’s almost as if they want us to rush to the stores and sample its bad things.

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