This is an outrage

We're only four days into the new year and we're already jumping up and down on a disgusting moral panic that will no doubt make David Cameron jerk his knee all over the goddamn place. Not only are prisoners not being flogged in public while we throw tomatoes at them, we're even giving them some semblance of humanity by making them exercise, with a Wii! It's PC gone mad, we tells yer.

Some Sun reporter looking for an outrage to splutter about found it at Broadmoor prison, where a source told him how Yorkshire Ripper Peter Sutcliffe 'played ten pin bowling - watched by Rachel Nickell's murdererRobert Napper.' The prison has apparently taken a £5,000 delivery of the Nintendo toys, causing people to say things like 'it's like a holiday camp in there.'

'When you think of their crimes and the misery they have caused, you have to ask if it's right for society to pay to entertain them,' continued the source, who is more than likely an outraged fascist prison guard. 'This cash could have been spent improving care in the wider NHS. In the meantime all we hear is laughter as patients play with their new toys.'

The prison itself explained the purchases as a way of getting the inmates to exercise, and it more than likely a load cheaper than buying new gym kit. So if anything they're saving the taxpayer money, right?

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