Lonely? Dial 1-800-FACETIME to chat face-to-face to Apple staff!
If you're single - or even if you're not - you'll always be welcome at 1-800-FACETIME.
There are hundreds of young, attractive Apple employees on the line RIGHT NOW just waiting to chat, get a date - or even something more...
OK, it may sound like one of those weird late-night phone lines but really 1-800-FACETIME is Apple's way of giving new iPhone owners - who may not know anyone else with a brand-spanking-new iPhone - a way to test the new video-calling feature. You just call and a real-life Apple employee will pop up to look you in the eye and tell you more about your new toy's features. (And it's OK if you're a muppet.)
Apparently, a source at Apple says it's also a trial run for providing customer service support by video-call in a few months. Though that plan may get cancelled if as many people call Apple naked as are threatening to.