Going underground

Londoners will already know of the horror that a rush-hour tube journey can be. The creaking service suffers from its decades old infrastructure and chronic mismanagement that has seen employee unrest and several near crashes, not to mention constant works and delays that make millions of people's lives a misery.

One of the few things that makes going underground bearable is the brief respite you get from the emails and phone calls from your work/partner/kids, but should Chinese communications giant Huawei get their way that will all be coming to an end: they've offered to stump up about £50 million in order to line the Tube with mobile phone reception in time for the 2012 Olympics. Oh dear.

Now, if they were one thing that Londoners would like to say to wobbly-chopped Toy doughnut Boris Johnson, I reckon it would be 'nononononononononoooooooooo, don't do this to us: we don't need a mobile network, and we don't want to have to listen to teenagers dribbling on about their boring little personal dramas.' We get enough of that on the bus.

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